A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What do you call 99 lawyers in a car going off a cliff with no driver and another lawyer running in the other direction? A dick move.

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

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Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

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Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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"Penis, penis, penis..." says Chase. That is all he likes and he fondles horse testes.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

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whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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Where did Sally go in the bombing? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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