Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

Religion.

A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

Why was 6 afraid of seven? Seven brutally abused and raped 6 as a child.

Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

One time I masturbated by myself

Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

what do you call jerry sandusky with a kid in a shower jerry sandusky

I was Writing and i broke my pencil

Do you know what's not right? Left.

Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. And now he's dead. No more shoe ingestion

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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