An asian man and his friend walk into a bar. They both order a few drinks and drink them responsibly. They then pay for their drinks, and drive home to their loving families.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was Shane cool... Because he was a cool bean.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did sandy say to mr krabs nothing squirles are not smart enough to make a air tank and go under water

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer we're both lawyers

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Wanna hear a joke? Yes Then go on the internet and find some jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the black guy get kicked out of the bar? He was riding a jack hammer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats Brown And Sticky?! My Shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Wanna hear a joke? 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops