Guess what. Chicken butt.

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Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

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A priest, R Kelly, and Michael Jackson walk into a bar. They proceed to molest small children.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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Q: whats pink and fluffy? A: Pink fluff.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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Why did it die Nothing died

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charlie sheen losing

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold climate. I guess this was just a waste of time.

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ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

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An american man, chinese man, black man, and a Mexican man walk into a bar. The american man says i want to show you guys a trick, so they go to the empire state building and the american man jumps off the side and comes back up alive. He tells them i will do it one more time, watch closely. So he jumps off and comes back alive. The american guy tells the chinese man to do it. So the chinese guy jumps off and dies. Then the american guy tells the mexican to jumps off, sonhe does it. The mexican man dies and the black guy is told to do it and he is afraid, but still does it, he dies. The american man goes back to the bar and the barkeep says "Superman you can be a real dick when your drunk!"

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Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the narcoleptic patient? It wasn't. The patients were treated because of moral obligations, but the doctors that laughed were either fired or warned, depending on if they had previous reports of exploitation of patients.

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Why did Superman cross the road? I dunno.

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Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

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What is chewy and tastes like gum? Chewing gum.

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Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

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Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

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What do you get when you cross a 747 with a passenger train? A large colission with hundreds dead and injured.

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AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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