how do you get a black guy out of a tree? fried chicken.

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What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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what starts with an f and ends with a uck? firetruck!!

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What has 4 legs and cant walk? A paralyzed dog

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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What do u call a mixture of black people and asian people. Breakfast- Scrambled Eggs and Sausage

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How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

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Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

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Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

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Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

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Why did the man fall of the cliff? A: Because someone pushed him.

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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It's about 3 days from Mother's Day. What do you get her? Nothing. Nothing is a very powerful thing. hehe thats what she said.

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What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

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Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

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What do you get when you cross a horse with a house cat ? A law suit for animal cruelty

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-Knock Knock -Come in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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