Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

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whats funny? a relatsion ship for 16 hours

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Have you ever seen a dinosaur? No

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit. What's worse than a dead baby in a clown suit? Ten dead babies in a trash-can. What's worse than ten dead babies in a trash-can? One dead babie in ten trash-cans.

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Q: How did the woman die in the black neighborhood? A: She suffered a fatal heart attack while visiting one of her friends. Everyone mourned their loss.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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What do you call a blonde who likes to read? A bookworm.

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Loner.

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Breast cancer.

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One day a man runs into a bar. He is already drunk and jumps through the window. This is illeagal, so he was arrested, stoned and killed.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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why did the computer crash? it didn't

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What do you do if you see a man on the street with a pineapple up his bum? Take him to the hospital to have the pineapple removed professionally. It could be potentially dangerous for his health.

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Your mom is so fat, she got obese and died.

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What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

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A man drops a penny between a Jew and a homosexual. The man says "oh excuse me," picks up his penny and continues with his day.

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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