What did the black man watch basketball instead of Tennis? Because Basketball is a very popular sport to African Americans, and tests show they can just higher than Caucasians, Asians and Hispanics.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

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How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

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One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

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What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

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What is dangerous when eaten? My grandmother's cooking?

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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A black man walks into a bar and treated with equal care

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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Why were there a series of riots in london? The police shot and killed a man who was threatening them and thus caused his friends to get angry and caused other people to lose control.

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

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What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says what do you want? the duck says nothing cause ducks can't talk

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Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

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Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

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What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

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What's worse than Fantasy Basketball? Playing Fantasy WNBA.

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A bar walks into a man... Wait...

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Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

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A man walks into a bar and a lady asks "Can I help you?" The man replies "No." and walks out of the bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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