What did the four pigs do at the farm? Roll in mud.

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The guy above me has a very nice joke

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Anti-joke.com

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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Your momma;s so fat she stepped on the scale and said one at a time please!

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Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. Martin was a lonely man

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Q:What would strawberry short cake never say? A: Very

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What color was the duck? It had one foot.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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What do you call a black guy who is a lifeguard An African American male who puts his safety before others

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Whats worse than ten dead babies in one tree? I dont know, but that is quite a graphic sight i have in my mind right now.

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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What's black and white and red all over? Two biracial gay guys boning a can of paint...

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A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

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What's green and has wheels? a green car.

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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amy baked 35 sugar cookies and ate 25, what does she have now? diabetes.

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

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knock knock... whose there? I don't know why don't you open it and find out dumb ass... Gosh people and their common sense these days!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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