Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Priest, Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar... i forgot the rest of the joke, but your mothers a whore!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

24

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red, violets are blue, apparently you are blind or else I wouldn't be telling this to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Tunechi

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man fall of the cliff? A: Because someone pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

thumb_up thumb_down +10

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

It's about 3 days from Mother's Day. What do you get her? Nothing. Nothing is a very powerful thing. hehe thats what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock? Who's there? How did you know it was me?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

if you spell clever backwards you get a mixture of letters that don't make sense

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops