Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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what happen to covietz when he licked his balls? nothing he likes the taste

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raisin boogers

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I once had a friendly cohort, whose limericks often ran short, but this one doesn't, I don't know why, Also, he often can't rhyme.

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did you hear about the 2 car pile up by wal-mart? 50 mexicans dies

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are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

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An early jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody.

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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How do you stop a car? Put on the Brake

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Sally was ugly like a shaven babboon So she created her own little cacoon And within a week she finally emerged And she smelled like shit what a psycho

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Yo momma is so ugly, that she has no mirrors in her home to avoid the feeling of disgust and sadness she gets whenever she sees her reflexion

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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thomas!!!!

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Knock knock. Whose there? Jehovahs witnesses.

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A seal walks into a club.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

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Once a upon of time, there was a very big kangaroo named Jake. Well one day Jake was eating some food when suddenly a bunch of humans came and saw him. One human name Willie went over to take some pictures of the animal. The Jake ran away.

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A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

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Why does it take 7 years for Harry Potter to kill Voldemort? Voldemort is a very powerful wizard and Harry Potter is just learning magic at the beginning so he is not prepared to fight him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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