This is not a joke

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Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

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How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

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There's a car about to hit me.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink and sighs heavily, waiting to escape the reality of his broken home, his cheating wife, and his high school dropout kid.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What's black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

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What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

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*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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How did Jane fall off the swing? Jane had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Jane.

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I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

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What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

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why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

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scenario: retarded monkey upside down in a mirror question: why is jims dad fat answer: the mexican chicken is an aperadus

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roses are red. violets are violet...

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A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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