A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

elen degeneres is straight....

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was feeling suicidal due to an existential crisis.

life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

What do you get if you give a black man more than 5 watermelons? Jeff the Killer.

why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red. OH SHIT THE GARDENS ON FIRE!

What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

Why did little Timmy start crying? He was shot.

What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

What did the black man watch basketball instead of Tennis? Because Basketball is a very popular sport to African Americans, and tests show they can just higher than Caucasians, Asians and Hispanics.

How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

What is dangerous when eaten? My grandmother's cooking?

One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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