Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots, "Long day?", the bartender asks. "Yeah", the man replies, then he goes home and hangs himself

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Morning wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

It's about 3 days from Mother's Day. What do you get her? Nothing. Nothing is a very powerful thing. hehe thats what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

thumb_up thumb_down +10

if you spell clever backwards you get a mixture of letters that don't make sense

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock? Who's there? How did you know it was me?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why did James cry? A: Because he's an infant and still quite afraid of his surroundings

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Blond answers: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat............?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops