-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

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Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

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Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

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Why did the black guy get kicked out of the bar? He was riding a jack hammer

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Yo mamma's so fat, that she weighs alot.

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Want to hear a joke? Me too.

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What is worse than the holocaust? World War III.

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

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how big is the moon? why the hell are you asking me?...dumbass.

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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What's worse than taking a bite in an apple and finding a worm in it? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

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Q: Why didn't the little boy get his bike for christmas? A: He died from cancer

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What did Batman say to Robin before going into the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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Knock knock who's there I killed your family

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Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

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Why does people with tourettes curse so much? Fuck should I know?

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Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

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Whats the best way to get to a girls heart? A knife.

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What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

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whats funny about a jew burning? Nothing......

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Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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