A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

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Knock knock Who there? A mute Bullshit

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have aids, and now you do too!

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

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why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

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Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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Why wasn't the man talking? Because he was sleeping.

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What did one socially awkward kid say to another socially awkward kid? Nothing

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What's worse than taking a bite in an apple and finding a worm in it? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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Whats an Anti-joke?? A joke that possesses the kind of humor based on the surprise factor of absence of an expected joke or of a punch line in a narration which is set up as a joke.

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Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

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Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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