You read the Terms of Service.

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a white kid is called on by his teacher he is promptly sent to the principle's office after not complying.

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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Why was Sally's dad crying? Because Sally got raped. Why was Sally crying? Her dad raped her.

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Q: whats pink and fluffy? A: Pink fluff.

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Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he has a serious anger problem.

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How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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if quizzes are quizzical, arent tests testical?

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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How many Jews can you fit into a 1968 Caddy? 1 in the front, 2 in the back, and 200 in the ash tray.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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Why did the black man buy watermellon? Because he was having a barbecue in his suburban neighborhood and he wanted some fruit.

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why did the boy and girl go under the covers together? because they were cold

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What is the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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I AM YOUR SALVATION! And you are my poopstain

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuase 7 watched his friend die. He slowly went into a depression so deep he went on a murderous rampage.

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Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What would Jesus do? Do? You mean like do it? You have a dirty mind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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