Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

what do obama and terrorist have in common -they are both human

roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up you retarded poet!

Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

Why did i write this joke? Because i'm a try hard.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

What did little Sally say to the clown after the party? 'For someone who specializes in entertaining children of a young age, I am slightly underwhelmed at the degree of humor my friends and I have derived from your jokes today.'

What did Jean Luc Picard say to Data when he saw a broken Janome Overlocker? Make it Sew

What do you get when you mix a baby and a fork? An abortion.

A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

Hahaahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaahahah :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I screw with you Hahahahahahahahahaahaggahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahah

A blonde girl walks into a car.

What did the indian man say to the black man? "Hi."

Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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