A man walks into a bar.

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A couple was arguing about how the man was cheating and he was in "The Doghouse". There clever son pointed out that they didn't own a dog.

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Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

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Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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rosie o'donald goes on a diet

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Why does Derrek Ashmore act so feminine on his facebook statuses? Because he has a vagina so it is appropriate for him

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Did you hear about that superman guy? He died.

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

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girls basketball

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

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Mitt Romney penis

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your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

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What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

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A clown a hockey player and a...........what the heck that's all I got.

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A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

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When life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians.

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Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

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A man walks into a bar and a lady asks "Can I help you?" The man replies "No." and walks out of the bar.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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whats worse than 8 babies nailed to a tree? nothing but oca mom is going to be pissed that her kids are nailed to a tree

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why did the man die? he was shot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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