A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Knock Knock? Who's there? How did you know it was me?

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How do u stop sky from being gay. You don't

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Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

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How much wood would Chuck Wood have if Chuck Wood could have wood? None, Chuck Wood has E.D.

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how do you get all the people in ireland out of their homes? roll a potato down the road. how do you find the richest person in ireland? you find the one who got the patato

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A man sat on a chair

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Knock Knock Who's there? Probably

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What did the Mexican overdose on to die. Nothing, he died of old age

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what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? pretty much everything because dead babies aren't a laughing matter

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What's Big, Brown and really Runny ??? It doesn't matter anymore, i'll just leave the Toilet !!

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

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A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

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What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

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Knock Knock. Go Away!

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Scene:restraunt Me:can I have a coke please? Waiter:sorry we don't have any, is Pepsi ok? Me:is monopoly money ok?

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Butt poop.

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which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

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I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

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What's worse than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Two Drunks walk out of a bar. They look down an alley and see a dog licking his balls. The first drunk says" Man, I wish I could do that." The second guy replies " Well you better pet him first."

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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