When I walk in the rain, I get wet

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mama smells so bad that she has no friends and killed herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I personally really do not know

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did my grand parents go about surviving the holocaust? Well, for starters, they weren't Jewish, they never lived in Germany, and to be honest, my grandparents probably would have supported the Nazi's because they are right wing pricks

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the downsyndrome get for christmas? Aborted

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Cinema summer shits coming this year! Reboot edition ONE! Rocky BarBoler a older man with dreams of becoming a true boxing champion!... but will he succeed against the champion Apollo thirteen? Watch ROCKY To find out. Starring Mike Tyson as Rocky, and Justin Bieber as Apollo thirteen (Do I need remind you Rocky lost in his first movie?, Well that one is for you "Beleibers" because in the end you are misguided cuties.. most way to young for me, but you are as cute as you are silly). Moral: Loves cute girls... especially those over 16... legal age here... good luck calling us all pedophiles... They mature fast here, "beliebe" me, twelve year olds have fully grown boobs... what did you think I meant by cute? RAWR! Look but no touch is a okay for me mama Luigi. I just tend to call me once they turn 16...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Turnabout: American study of the Japanese Stereotype man: Murican: Excuse me Mr Japanese. Jap: The answer is within the heart of battle.. Murican: Yes but I just want to ask you some few questions. Jap: You are disturbing my feng shui I must power of the mystical fireball of surge fist energy get... *uppercuts waterfall BECAUSE REASONS!* Murican: What? But this is a serious study! Jap: Sowwy I do nothe speeky the shamefull language of the engrish! Murican: But you just said... Sigh... Conclusion: Carpet bombing of Japan funding increased. "slap a Jap" commercial project from world war two reinstated for the safety of the American people. Experiment two: The study of a American man raised in Japan. Murican: Hello I wonder if... American raised in japan: GADOUKEN GADOUKEN GADOUKEN! ORA ORA! Murican: Dead/KO. American/Japan: FRAWRESS VICTOLY! Result: World war 3 GET!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the wife say to her husband when he arrived home from work? Nothing. She cried over his coffin. Her husband was a marine who died in a car bombing in Iraq.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops