What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

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Knock Knock. Go Away!

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

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Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

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Why couldn't the Black man become a surgeon? He was Blind.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... you're destroying their natural diet.

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What do you call a gathering of Asians? A chinkfest

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.

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I told my grandmother to act her age.... she then died

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What comes after 69? 70

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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whats worse then girls playing sport ? girls cutting grass

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A blode takes a trip to her favorite restaurant. She arrives safely. After consuming a delicious meal she dies of cancer.

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No Neither have I

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what happened to the drug addict? he go high

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What's worse than having to tie one of your shoelaces after walking 5 miles? Getting a 56 year old mixture of blood, urine and sperm injected in your asshole.

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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whats the best thing ever to happen to chuk norris ? he was born !!!!

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What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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josh roberts got the d in geog

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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what is a bracket? a bracket

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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