A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

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What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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"Honey im home!" but his honey was dead on the floor along with his 3 kids.

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Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

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Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

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Why didn't the Mexican have car insurance? Because he was 12 years old and didn't have a car so he had no need for car insurance.

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What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

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What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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This is a haiku Haikus are not really jokes Congratulations!

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What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

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What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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have you seen Britney Spears lately? no. i wouldn't expect you to since she is a pop sensation and you are just a regular person trying to find your way in this world

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What do you do if you see a man on the street with a pineapple up his bum? Take him to the hospital to have the pineapple removed professionally. It could be potentially dangerous for his health.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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But then it wouldn't be an anti joke ya bellendo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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