How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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I had a date. She was a pegasister. Since MLP was magical, I disappeared.

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knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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A mushroom walks into a bard and the bartender admonishes him and tells him to leave. The mushroom says "Aw, c'mon...you stupid jerk!"

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was wandering because he was lost and got hit by a car in the process.

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who's a slut... you're mom

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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all your base are belong to mark

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Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

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Why did the woman start crying? She didn't have woman's rights... That's right, get back in the kitchen

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Tom has 24 cupcakes Tom then ate 24 cupcakes what does Tom have? Diabetes Tom got diabetes

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How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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Theres a monkey that walks into a bar. I forget the rest of the joke but your moms a w****

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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