Why didn't the man go to work? He got stabbed.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

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If you see a fat man, what do you say to him? Hopefully nothing mean, seeing as that would be demoralizing to the fat man.

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What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

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When geese fly in the "V" shape, why is one side longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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if your were a slu* what would you do dance on a pole or get a tattoo

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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You are being like super pervert now, I would never ever even try weed, cocaine is the real deal, you know I do not mean that. Anyway does it work on everyone?

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Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

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Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

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Your momma so fat, she's fat

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Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

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Jesus Christ dude. Wait, aren't you Jewish?

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Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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What's worse than stepping on a Lego? Leukemia

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"What's uhhh.". "Crap I forget" "Oh yeah! 32!"

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"This is Jesus Christ to Tim Tebow. Please leave me alone. Don't you know that my day off, is Sunday?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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