What did the toaster say to the raisin? Nothing. The toaster was mute and the raisin had lost his hearing in a terrible full-contact origami accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

question:How do you call a Russian with Ak47. answer: Spetznaz

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar. He proceeds to begin his bartending shift.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

so if you need 20 dollars and you just kicked your cat how old is your mom. cake because you are a 666 member.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's funnier than 68 69

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do flowers and people have in common? They both die.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I'm gonna say something that is going to blow you(away). My Rape Dungeon has carpet.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's Roses are Red

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is dull and has no point? A pencil without its point

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, Stones are grey, This poem is obvious, You don't say??

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A priest walks into a bakers and asks for a loaf of bread , the baker asks "white or brown" the priest replies "it does not matter Sir I have my bike outside".

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

After finishing reading this sentence, read it again and you might or might not realise that there is a secret subliminal message in this sentence making you do something later tonight. Can you spot it?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust? getting raped by a giant scorpion What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher, Mr. Smith What's worse than getting raped by your seventh grade math teacher Mr. Smith? Snapping your femur bone in half What's worse than snapping your femur bone in half? Birthing a dead baby

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Once upon a time there was man named Bob. He liked bacon. So he ate some. And he like it. So he got some more and ate it. Then he went an played THE GAME.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

John and Sarah sitting in a tree. K i s s i n g. First comes love. Oops theres goes john-- he's falling---he's falling... he's broken his neck and ruptured his internal organs. D e a t h

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a black man with a wooden leg? A veteran.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

http://citizenmcgeedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/borat-banana-hammock.jpg?w=300

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between an eight year old girl and a Jew? Only one comes back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops