Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q. Where do you find Indonesia A. On a map

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock Who's there? A robber Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats 2+1? 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What's worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did the therapist say to the other therapist? WE'VE SAID THIS WAY TOO MANY TIMES YOU SHIT

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a black guy riding a unicycle? A black guy riding a unicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops