Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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whats chinese noodles

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Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

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what has 2 legs and bleeds alot half a dog

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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Why did the crack head cross the road? To get crack.

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why did billy fall down? Because he is mentaly retarted and was just plain stupid.

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a blender ? A. 37 but you can try and prove me wrong

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

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why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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An Asian walks into a bar, but the bartender asks him to leave the bartender replies "we're closing soon" but he secretly harbored racist views that he had not yet come to terms with and was deeply ashamed of.

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Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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What do you call a pig and a ball when u come across both of them? A ball hog!

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Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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A black guy gets a job...

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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#Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Catherine of Aragon was one. # She failed to give him a son #He had to ask her for a divorce. #That broke her poor heart of course. #Young Anne Boleyn, she was two #Had a daughter, the best she could do #He said she flirted with some other man #And off with the chop, went dear Anne! #Lovely Jane Seymour was three! #The love of his lifetime indeed! #She gave him a son #Little Price Ed #Then poor old Jane...went and dropped dead! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! #He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Anne of Cleeves came at four #He fell for the portrait he saw! #But laid eyes on her face, and cried #SHE'S A HORSE! I MUST HAVE ANOTHER DIVORCE! #Catherine Howard was five #A child of nineteen, so alive #She flirted with others, no way to behave #The AXE sent young Cath to her grave! #Catherine Parr, she was last #By then all his best days were past #He lay on his death bed, aged just fifty-five! #Lucky Catherine- the last stayed alive! #I mean, how unfair! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #You could say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! And the moral of the story is: Never buy a car without knowing it's background.

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Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? To connect with their loved ones, meet any new additions and share old family stories.

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why am i a dick head. because my gcse's spelt fudge and i dont like fudge so i project my anger into boss things

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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