What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

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I'm gonna say something that is going to blow you(away). My Rape Dungeon has carpet.

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What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

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There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

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Why did the blonde get a good occupation? Because she had a great education in a private school.

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what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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What did Tim say about his wife cheating on him with his best friend's wife? He ran to R Kelly and got peed on.

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Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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Two guys walk into a bar. One man walks out of the bar at a similiar time.

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WHAT????

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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What is the meaning of life? 42

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Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

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What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

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What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 had a gun.

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

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A man walks into a resteraunt and joins his friends. Then he realized he had no friends. ~YN~

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a dick just for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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