Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

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What is purple and green at the same time? Grapes, I lied about at the same time.

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What do you call a black mailman? By his name.

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How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

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an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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What did the lone KKK member do when he passed 10 large, muscular black men in the street? He did not tell them that he was a member of the KKK.

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How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

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What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog.

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Sigh... You know life, you start all optimistic and "I am going to be wealthy mommy and stuff" Then you know, life turns not quite out like you planned it, and, well, you wish you had made some other choices you know what I mean... Your grades where not that good, that girl you really loved did not like you back, you know what I mean right? ...Well I don't, how is it like?

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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how many dead babies fit in a bathtub 16

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

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How do you talk to a mentally challenged person? You use words in a sequential order that would make sense grammatically

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What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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