How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

John and Henk are walking down the street. John kills a man, the cops are coming and John runs away. Why didn't Henk ran away? Henk was a rock

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whatd the boner say to the limp dick get your head up kid

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mom is so fat she should probably go to her doctor and ask for a prescription of diabetic pills

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the Nazi say to the farmer? Sie sind Juden versteckt

thumb_up thumb_down -4

yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Jewish person was found dead in an alley way last night, Hitler did nothing wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What would Jesus do? Do? You mean like do it? You have a dirty mind.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I Won a Math Debate................ say it fast unless your blind then dont say it wait you cant read it so uhhm Alaska

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The teacher hands out tests to the students and some of the students say to the teacher "what does 'no grade' mean?" The teacher responds, "Oh I need to grade them still.")

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I saw a guy walking down the street like a black person. I just shook my head and smiled. He WAS black.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Safe sex MR

thumb_up thumb_down -4

My life :(

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: what did the dad get for playing baseball with his son? A: a line drive to his balls

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

1.Roses Are Gray, Violets Are Gray. I Am A Dog. Can I Eat Your Leg? 2.What Did The Sandwiches Say To The Grilled Cheese? Nothing. Sandwiches Can't Talk Due to The Lack Of Organs.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops