knock knock who's there peedo peedo who scissors

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

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why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

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Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

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A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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Roses are multicoloured Violets are multicoloured Mushrooms are great

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two solely on her hair color, proceeds to kill them with a single shot glass. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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You wanna hear something dirty? A pile of garbage. That's dirty.

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Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

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Yo Mama So Fat ... She Look Like Dis ///(*<>*)\\\ | | | | <=> <=>

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why was the the taxi cab driver having a bad day? because he wasnt making very much money, didnt get alot of customers, some of which were extremely rude, and his entire family just died.

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A horse walks into a bar, realizes that he shouldnt be here so he walks out.

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Why cant a black man and a white man cant be friends? Because bont mens are racist

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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There was a man workin at the supermarket, when a cow with a hat entered. He realized that it couldn't be really happening and had to be a dream. Effectively: he was dreaming. Actually, he was in jail, and his execution was scheduled for that day.

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what did the crocodile say to the fish? OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!! and then the fish swam away because of the the weird noise the crock was making...

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why is blake oneal gay? because hes black and he likes peniss in his ass

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1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

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Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

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I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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