How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I told a joke to my friends. They laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than the holocaust? The sun exploding.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why wouldn't the other kids play with Timmy at recess? A: Because he was a burn victim and had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family cried about his final days of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why isn't this a joke? Because it's not.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Womens' sports

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats green and has wheels? A Rednecks front lawn.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops