A redhead walks into a hairdressing salon and asks to have her hair dyed black due to being a subject of bullying and social rudeness.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the Japanese man do to the pizza? He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the fat chick have a camel toe? She was half camel

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If Jim lives in north carolina, what does that make his dad's brother? Black

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the mean have to clean up the mass amount of dead bodies? Because he lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call it when a woman doesn't want the child she is currently impregnated with? Abortion: a very sensitive and controversial topic.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I got shot once it hurt a lot

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is Kyle so gay. Nobody knows

thumb_up thumb_down -10

try slamming a revolving door

thumb_up thumb_down -10

yo mamma so fat when she seen a stop sigh she ate it

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black man with a gun? A cop

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I'm sn otter

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops