Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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What's red and smells like blood? Blood.

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How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

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What do you put in a toaster? Bread, or sometimes a small penis.

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there was a blind kid and a man wearing a WWJD & Livstrong bracelet touched his eyes and he could see. He wasn't used to the light and walked into traffic and died instantly.

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What did the lady find out when she went to the doctor. She had breast cancer.

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What did the frog order at McDonalds? Nothing, it's a frog.

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What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

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What happens when a llama falls off a cliff? It dies.

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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Why is lewis rank gay Coz he is

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What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

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Whats black, yellow and white? my wives

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So joe diragi walks out of a gay bar...

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neil patrick harris

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what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

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what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

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A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

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Q: Why didn't the man give money to the homeless person on the sidewalk? A: Because he thought that he was faking it. Two days later the homeless person died in an alleyway from starvation. Nobody was there to witness it, and the body was never found.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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