Where was I born? Pakistan. You?

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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a man shoots his mother in-law He his charged with murder and will only be eligible for parole in 18 months

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Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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What did one computer say to the other? 100111010100100111001010010001110101110010100010101011010011010010111000010101100100100100001101010000011111010010011010100110101001010100101010101010100101011010010010101010110010110010100100010101010101010

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R: Caught my wife cheating the other night. P: You bitter? R: Yes. I am.

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yo mama so old she was a waiter at the last supper.

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what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

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Who you gonna call? Gobstoppers

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

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who lives in a pinaple under the sea? japanesse people!

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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What's red and smells like blood? Blood.

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How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

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What do you put in a toaster? Bread, or sometimes a small penis.

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What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

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Why is lewis rank gay Coz he is

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So joe diragi walks out of a gay bar...

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there was a blind kid and a man wearing a WWJD & Livstrong bracelet touched his eyes and he could see. He wasn't used to the light and walked into traffic and died instantly.

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What did the lady find out when she went to the doctor. She had breast cancer.

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Whats black, yellow and white? my wives

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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