What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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What do ghosts get whaen they watch porn ? a boner

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

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I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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Mormons having fun.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I'm not sure, he could not unwrap them.

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What does a Jew and an oven have in common? Bagels.

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Yo mamas so stupid that she has a condition called autism

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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A fish swims into a wall. It does not say anything, seeing as fish do not possess vocal chords and therefore are incapable of speech.

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how do you make time fly? throw a clock out a window.

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"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

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When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

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Hi

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

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How does a black man put puzzles together? First, he locates the four corners. Next, he begins filling in the sides. Finally, he uses the picture on the box to fill in the center. It can be a very tedious process if he is not paying attention.

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this is not an anti joke

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2 guys are on a scaffolding. One of them says to the other "If you fall from here, theres a high probability you will die"

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James' father died from being overweight. The next day in the mail, James received a coupon for Skinny's garcinia cambogia pills to help him lost weight. Simply put, it was not a good day for James.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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