What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

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Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

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Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

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Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

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A man walked on the street where he saw an other man. The two men said: "Hi!" to each other and walked together down the road. Then one of the men got ran over by a car. The other man said: "ROFL".

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What's the difference between a rhino and a house cat? They look way different.

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What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

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How do you register on webkinz? You put a rope around a durable shower neck, & then hang yourself with it.

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How do you distinguish between an unlabeled carton of milk and an unlabeled carton of cream without breaking the seals? You label them.

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A white guy a black guy and a mexican are all on a trian. The white guy says "We should all through something off the train that we have too much of in this country." The mexican throws a sombraro of the train and says " We have too many of these in this country." The black guy throws a gun off the train and says "We have too many of these in this country." The white guy pushes the mexican off the train and says "We have too many of these in this country.

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ?... because he was dead

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whats long and stretchy? elastic

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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Why did the boy go to the hospital? He didn't. Unfortunately the gunshot wound severely injured the boy and he was unable to be revived in time to survive.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? Doctor Brown, I have your test results, you've HIV positive.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The parking lot was across the street from KFC.

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why was the boy sad. his father is an alcoholic that beats him daily.

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69

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

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How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

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A black and a white man enter the bar all the people jump on the black guy to beat him up when the white guy is geting free vodka

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops