How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

What's faster than a black man with a TV? olympic sprinters, cyclists, street legal cars, speed boats, helicopters, commercial airliners, bullets, fighters jets, missiles, SR-71, space shuttles, rocket ships, anything in orbit, excited electrons, and quite a lot more, actually.

Roses are gray Violets are gray Pansies are gray Daffodils are gray I am a dog :)

knock knock come back later i'm taking a shower!!!

Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

Autism speaks but not really

If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

One day a mans computer was unusually, when all else failed, he had to go to extreme measures. He then refreshed his page.

Why did the black men chase the chicken ? Because it wondered out of a barn.

So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

Q: Where can you find a cat with no arms and no legs? A: Right where you left him Q: Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? A: In a bun

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why the f*** do so many people ask this question?

TOBUSCUS

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

why did u fart to loud? because you butt said so

Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

A duck walks into a bar, but he is kicked out because he is not 21

Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

Who killed the ears of every human being? -Rebecca Black

what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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