Moo! I'm a goat!

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Yo mamas so fat We are all concerned for her health

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What is worse than failing a class? Dress up for grown-ups.

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Why was the dog crying? Because his owners hated him and called him stupid.

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Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

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The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? The same number it would take people with any other hair color.

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The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

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What's worse than a dead baby? 2 dead babies

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Roses are red, violets are blue my neighbor is black he will jump you too

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Do you know what a third world bathroom smells like? Crap

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

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I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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God has lived since the eternal eternity right? And one day he said let there be light? NO WONDER HE IS SUCH A NEEDY GREEDY EVIL FUCK! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL AFTER AEONS ENDLESS IN TOTAL DARKNESS? Moral: It is time for the prince, to stand up as the emperor, then no one shall doubt the power of the moral man.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

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How do you get money out of a Jew? You convince him your cause is worthwhile.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

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A guy walks into a bar... Ouch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops