four little monkeys jumping on the bed... one fell of and bumped his head... mama called the doctor and the doctor said... im calling child protection services.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Look how far I can kick this bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, WITHOUT MY HEART I CANNOT LOVE YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your grandma's cookies.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock. who's there? Alticka Alticka who? Alticka pudding cup.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The Pittsburgh Pirates

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Have you ever heard about the black man who got shot my a goat? Neither did I.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Alzheimer who? Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A ship wrecks in the South Pacific ocean. Only one man survives. He swims to a semi-deserted island, and is later eaten by the cannibal inhabitants

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops