Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

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What do you call something thats mostly made of wood, big, round and stupid A retarded version of the Knights of the round table

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Roses are red, violets are blue God made me beautiful, how about you?

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

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If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

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What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

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9

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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A Black man and a racist walk into a bar. There was a ruckus.

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what do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin Mobile By: jb lshs

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A man rode into town on Friday and stayed a while and then left on Friday how did he manage this?

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ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

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Knock, Knock Come in

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violets are red my name is bob this poem makes no sense microwave

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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