Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Hi, how are you doing? Good how about yourself? Fine, thanks. Nice weather we're having Yeah, not too bad Have a nice day You too

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Dear Chase. You are retarded Your jokes suck Violets are red jump off a bridge

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Darude- Sandstorm

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than finding a hair in your soup? Slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the kid with cancer gt for Christmas? Nothing. He didn't make it that long

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why are black people ghetto? Because they are black.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops