What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

How many people of a certain demographic does it take to change a light bulb? x+1 (x >0), 1 person to change the lightbulb and x to behave in a manner consistent with the established stereotype of said demographic.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No-one because that's not feasible.

What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

Roses are red violets are blue I have boobs and so do you

what did the black man say to the white girl? He respectfully asked her out on a date and theyve been happily dateing ever since.

What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

cliché rebecca black joke.

What's the difference between a rabbit and a Rabbi? Rabbits are of the family Leporidea, whereas Rabbi's are Jewish.

When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

shut up iggy

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 1027

Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

why do we have school? 2 learn duh y r u even askin? ur STOOPIDE!

doctor,doctor my eyesight is getting worse, you are certainly right, this is the post office

A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

Whats fuzzy and pink? A pink fuzz ball

Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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