A couple was arguing about how the man was cheating and he was in "The Doghouse". There clever son pointed out that they didn't own a dog.

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An iman, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. It's not the same bar. They feel uncomfortable mixing together and this makes me sad.

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Knock knock Who's there? Oh. I was just making sound effects.

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Why did the man fall of the cliff? A: Because someone pushed him.

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DON"T READ THIS!

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A man walks into a bar and a lady asks "Can I help you?" The man replies "No." and walks out of the bar.

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How can you tell the person who stole your car was black? Stereotyping is wrong.

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uh uh uh uh .... oh i swallowed my gum

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What's worse than Jedward? Nothing. They are really and truly awful.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and an Indian man are all in the taxi when they were all killed in a car crash. Who was driving the car? The taxi driver.

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How did the prisoner escape from prison? He asked to leave.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

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When the tsunami hit in 2004, christians worldwide prayed for the victims. it didnt help

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

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what is a bracket? a bracket

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One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answered him in a such a simple and concise way, that the little boy understood.

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Blarg, with ritalin everything tastes like cardboard, but on the bright side I can taste, lucky me I am so handsome the ones that attacked us did not want to ruin "my pretty face", so I just got a few cuts before I broke his, they never see a steel fist arriving you know... Listen, you are wrong, you gotta think less about me, and much more about yourself, you feel like you should worry more about me emotionally, but worry about your feelings more despite that because I can more or less hear your body saying "please take care of me", I mean I can more or less hear the urges and needs of women, thats why I am so good around them, I dont put them in a trance "vampire style" i just make them feel safe around me because it is safe around me, I am safe at all times because I am who I am. Listen, worry about your needs, turn of all mental alarms, I can sense (I dont know how, Richard Bandler put that into me) that you are in lack of sleep, food and sleep (I can sense it now, you havent slept well since you thought I was dead, it makes logical sense, it always does, its not magic, its the human potential unleashed) So take care of yourself, turn of your body`s needs one by one, shower, eat, drink (eat something good), and if you are at the couch, go get a pillow and lie down, this is about you, because I cant feel well if those I love and care about dont feel well okay? Please allow me to sleep easily and try getting some sleep yourself even if my guys are 15 minutes away. Let me know that you feel better.

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A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

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What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

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How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

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yo moma is so poor she cant afford free samples

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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