Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

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what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

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What's sad about an old black woman being hit by a Porsche? She was my third grade English teacher, and had a huge impact upon my life.

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Once upon a time, a boy sat on a hedgehog. He abruptly stood up, as the spikes had caused him a certain amount of discomfort.

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What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

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Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

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ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

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If you were a cactus, why?

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Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

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what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

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Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

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Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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whats the difference between a black guy, spook and a porch monkey? they are all stupid, stinky, n-i-g-g-e-r-s!

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This is not a joke or is it

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What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

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What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

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Adam ci ?mierdz?cy kutas mi sie ya mam

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Why did the wife leave her husband? Because they were having sexual differences and time restraints. The husband worked nightshifts as a nurse while the woman stayed home and took care of their child. The husband confessed he never wanted a child in the first place, and that having sexual intercourse with her didn't truly satisfy him.

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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