How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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What's the best time to visit a dentist? Generally every six months or so.

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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What happened when the man lost his sandwich? He couldnt eat.

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

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A white rapper. HAHAHAHAHAHA oh ya he was muslim.

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What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

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What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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A black man walks into a bar. His parents were immigrants from South Africa.

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

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What did Jennifer get in her college exam? She got a C minus

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

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How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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