Why did the man commit a serious crime? Because he couldn't think of any funny crimes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Look whos talking Matt Critchley

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Marilyn Manson was walking to church.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is worse than adolf hitler? Justin beiber

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do 9 out of 10 people like? Gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock! Who's there? A bottle of beer. No thanks, I've been sober for 15 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it tried but was hit by a truck at the halfway point.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happens when a black guy roles over a speed-bump? I don't know. I have never tried it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Heil Hitler!!!!!! Why thankyou General Himmler. Would you care to join me for supper this evening?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do you not play poker with a cheetah. 1. Animals can't play card games. 2. Cheetahs are carnivores. Think about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the mom say to her clinically depressed son? You're dad died

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you do when someone tries to rob you at gunpoint Well first thing you have to do is think why am I in this situation? Then what can I do to avoid this again Finally think about how you're going to pay your medical bill. You were to busy thinking, to notice you just got shot and robbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops