What do you call a black man with a wooden leg? A veteran.

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Youre in your car, and you stop at a light you see a home less person holding a sign that says "Home less and hungry, anything helps." You ask if they want a box of cereal, "No thanks." They replied, you ask why not? "Well, I really just want to go to the movies."

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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What did the President give his wife for her birthday? Women's Rights.

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What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

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I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

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Knock knock Who's there Boo Boo who DONT BE SUCH A PUS*Y

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Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

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What do vampires cross the sea in?

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What did Frankenstein say to Dracula? Hey, that's a nice cape.

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Sam: This math homework is gay. Cory: You should pursue a romantic relationship with your gay math homework.

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Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

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what is a chicken answer: chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

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why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

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A man and his horse walk into a bar, he is told to leave because animals are not allowed on the property

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Why was the duck in jail? For Smoking...Quack!!

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What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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This is my first joke don't ????mine. You did didn't you.

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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What did the little boy with no arms get for cristmas? A football.

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What starts with P and ends with orn? Porn

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doctor,doctor my eyesight is getting worse, you are certainly right, this is the post office

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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