What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a dog

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There are two hippos in a bathtub, one says to the other, "pass the soap." the other hippo says, "no soap, radio."

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Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

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Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

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A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

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What's green and has four wheels? A dolphin. I lied about it having four wheels. I lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing.

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A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

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Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

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Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

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So I'm at the office and I tell this guy, "Hey can you pass me the stapler. But when you pass it over, make sure there are staples in it 'cause if not, I can't staple anything."

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What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

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What do you all a dead black man? A corpse.

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My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

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a boy named justin littleton made his own anti-joke......

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Every time you log on to a porn site, somewhere a panda cub explodes. BOYCOTT PORNOGRAPHY. SAVE THE PANDAS.

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What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

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a man made a beautiful colorful picture and hit print. the printer then grew a mind of its own and did the most horriffic and evil thing ever; he printed it in black and white.

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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how do you know when an elephant been in your refridgrator The door wont close

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im gey

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where do some birds live in? Earth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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