What do you do when a dog chews your pen? Use a pencile instead.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! Win a few Lose a few I'm Donald Trump!

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I LIKE TRAINS

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what did the photographer tell the model? You're ugly.

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? The baby is not a car.

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What goes in your mouth long and hard, and comes out soft and sticky? A stick of bubblegum.

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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How do you register on webkinz? You put a rope around a durable shower neck, & then hang yourself with it.

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They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They have a lengthy discussion regarding the hardships their people have suffered throughout history. Eventually, the subject changes to which coffee franchise has the best blend. A clear, concise decision is never reached. They then are asked to leave the bar, as they have not ordered any drinks and the bar is for paying customers only.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

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Why did Sally get hit with a fridge? Because someone threw a fridge at Sally Why would someone throw a fridge at her? Because Sally has no arms

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Why did the tight shirted Asian man spend all his time on his knees? Because when he was 12 he was forced to work in a textile factory where he lost his lower legs.

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Why did little tommy fall in the well. Because he grew tired of his life of brutal Beatings and starvation, so he jumped.

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okay i know you read this far but this is the turning point

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Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

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What amusing anecdote did the Department of Educational Dictations officer tell his coworker? There was no amusing anecdote. DED men tell no tales.

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Whats green, has 4 legs and falls out a tree? A pool table

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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69

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How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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