What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

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Knock knock How is ? Bond ,James Bond!

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

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Whats worst then finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaus.

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What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

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What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

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you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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I hate cripple jokes! I just can't stand them!

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A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

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This is a haiku A lovely type of poem It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

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Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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