Hi, how are you doing? Good how about yourself? Fine, thanks. Nice weather we're having Yeah, not too bad Have a nice day You too

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what is worse tahn finding a worm in your apple? finding hitler in your house.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do Ethiopians do for dinner? Starve.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died! Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

roses are red voilets are blue my dog stinks and so do you!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did the fat guy die? After an autopsy, it was discovered he was unaware of his type 2 diabetes and therefore did not treat it

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If a prisoner got one visitor who would he ask to see An Eskimo

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Chickens want to live in a world where they arent judged for cossing a road ......... K?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get hanging from an apple tree? Sore Arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is worse than failing a class? Dress up for grown-ups.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

thumb_up thumb_down +16

This is an anti joke with a difference. It's funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why are rich people so rich? they're not poor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was feeling suicidal due to an existential crisis.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

thumb_up thumb_down +14

knock knock Who's there? Someone who wants to save you from the shitty dinner your lazy wife made.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops