What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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my eyes hurt from what? being open too much

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What a gay guy get on his IQ test? 69

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What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

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Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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bacon

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3 men walk into a bar. they all take a cab home to keep from having an accident due to their intoxication.

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What did Helen Keller say to the leper? Buaaaaguuuhloo

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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Hillary Clinton

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So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

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Why was the man's foot hot? Because it was stuck in a toaster.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

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Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

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how come the exorcist eat crème brülé? because that deserves a carlsburg

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A man comes home to find his wife in bed with another man. He then joins them.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Romans rights.

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What's the difference between Sony and Kony? Sony is a company which produces electrical appliances and Kony is a Ugandan Warlord.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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