The Detroit Lions

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How are a pizza and a jew similar? They both are people aside from the pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do you get when you cross an elephant with a lake? swimming trunks.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkly? Because if they were small, round, and white, they would be called 'asprin'.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for some water because lemonade only makes you thirstier due to the large amounts of sugar used.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Robin, get in the car!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

knock knock whos there ben ben who ben ages since i seen you !!! vote this up please or a unicorn will die , unicorns are not real , but a moth can ride bikes so please vote this down

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy all jump off a building. they all immediately die on impact, later on the news white guy jumps off building.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yo mamma so crazy She chloroformed a 4 year old and put her in her trunk and no one has ever heard of her since.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Adele walks into the stables

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is worse than finding a worm in ur apple Idk I am asking u

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why is it that all cats dislike flying saucers? The strange noises and lights probably frighten them, as they don't understand the concepts of extra-terrestrial intelligence and space travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops