david what a baghead

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Chuck Norris walks into a bar and the bar says "ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

wow such mark very mark many mark so mark

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There was 3 guys. A mexican, a black guy, and a jew. They work at a construction site and one day they found what appears to be a magic lamp. The mexican guy rubs the lamp hoping for a genie to appear and grant them wishes. Sure enough a genie appears. "I have been freed from the magic lamp." Says the genie "I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The mexican guy did not understand english. The jew steals the lamp and the black guy stabs him. The next day a blonde goes to the crime scene. He spot the magic lamp on the floor, picks it up, and rubs it. The genie appears. "I have been freed from the lamp. I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The blonde says "I wish Jose could speak ad understand english." Suddenly, the mexican appears and says "Thank you."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the black man wash up on shore? He was on a boating trip, deep sea fishing, with some close friends from high school. About half of a mile off shore his ship crashed and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Sadly, not everyone lived this through this tragic accident. This man was one of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A guy who plays shooting games acquires an assault rifle but he doesn't kill anyone, why? Because he was a nice and peaceful man who loves his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened when the Texan saw snow for the first time? He said "Oh my goodness this is cool"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock. Who's there? Ahmadinejad. Well then get the **** away from my door!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's red and smells like blood? Blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the biggest lie in everyone's childhood? "School lunch food is actually good."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Mexican Have for Thanksgiving Dinner? A Turkey you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An early jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock ? Whose's there ? The person you should be opening the door for The person you should be opening the door for who? Oh my god Frank open the goddamn door

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops