How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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vaginas are pretty!!!!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

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why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

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Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

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What's 9 + 10 19

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A man walked into a bar. He said ow.

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Why cant t-rexes clap their hands? They no longer exist

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What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

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What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

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Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

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What do you call the black president? Mr.President

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An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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A blonde girl gets in a bad car accident . A man stops on the side of the road to help her . She is panicking The man gets out a piece of chalk and draw a small circle. He says "Do not step out of this circle" The man smashes her car with a baseball bat She giggles He rolls her car down the hill, She laughs Her car is on fire , She is cracking up He yells " WHAT IS SO FUNNY " She says , "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking"

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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This is an anti joke with a difference. It's funny.

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

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why am i sore i bummed a giraffe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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