This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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What did the President give his wife for her birthday? Women's Rights.

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What did Tim say about his wife cheating on him with his best friend's wife? He ran to R Kelly and got peed on.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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what do you call a black man driving a police car? a cop

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A man tells his wife to leave the kitchen

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Q: What is the differenc between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babys? A: I dont have a lamborghini my garage.

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i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell off a cliff? That never happened. I just checked Wikipedia.

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Roses are read Vilots are blue, I have a gun, Now get out of my house!!!

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

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why did the chicken cross the road it was being chased by the man from the chicken slaughter house.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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What's the difference between a rhino and a house cat? They look way different.

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Hi what I lug you

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A gay man takes another gay man home after a wild night at the city's top club. They choose to be safe and not have gay sex.

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What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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What do you get if you have a bundle of children's clothing, some moisturising cream, a gas mask, a lollipop, more candy and a bag? A disguise.

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4 1/2

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I'm a fork. Fork you!!

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Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

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yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

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What's more fun than thumbing down a shit joke? Thumbing down a shit joke which is neutral previous to your disliking giving it a little negative number.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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