what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

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What did little Mindy Granger find on her paper route? Human teeth.

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Get off my porch.

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This is a swimmer Joke. Chuck Norris once lapped a kid in the 50 free... LONG COURSE.

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Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

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An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

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Why do those Indian people have that dot on their forehead ? Idk but it makes a good target.

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My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

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Knock knock Who there? A mute Bullshit

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

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Roses are red Violets are astronaut This joke didn't make sense I'll kill u with a rake

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count to potato and those who can't.

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb?

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What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

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Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

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What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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