Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

an indian woman works at seven eleven. this is because her son has one leg and she needs to pay pay for all the medical needs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

thumb_up thumb_down +9

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh no! Someone's been murdered in my garden!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you get a n***r out of a tree? Cut the rope

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano? Neither has he...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are Gray. Violets are Gray. I am a Dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two muffins are baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other one replies, "OMG, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Tunechi

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's sad about a dead person? He was my friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Abraham lincoln do after getting assassinated? Certainly not riding a bike thats for sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I wonder if barrack Obama will rename the whitehouse...to the blue house because it is his favorite color

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops