Reading books

wat is the difference between rainbows and poop? I LOVE RAINBOWS!

Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

Why do all black people look the same? They don't you're just racist.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

Did you hear about the sick juggler? Turns out he had cancer on his brain tumour.

How did the black man get put in jail? He didn't, he never did anything illegal

Whats white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

Did you hear about the cannibal who ate the Olympic record sprinter? He's in prison for first-degree murder & crimes against humanity.

Why did the man fall of the building? Someone shot both of his kneecaps.

what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

A gay jew walked into a bar. Just kidding, for there was only a red blanket.

I did your mom-A FAVOR-by making you-A SANDWICH-my favorite part was when she stripped-THE LETTUCE-then i touched her boob-OO-then we fucked

What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

What to you call a heavy person, Someone overweight

There once was an X from place B, Who satisfied predicate P, Then X did thing A, In a specified way, Resulting in circumstance C.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This is a Poem, your Adopted

Yo momma so fat, she has large amount of fat deposited in her body

Uber Driver: "Hey I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh, I see you!" Uber Driver: "Are you that guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah, floor it"

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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