"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

Why did the Mexican cross the river? For an opportunity at a better life for himself and his loved ones.

Rudolf the rednosed reindeer died today. He was reported flying over Madrid when he was hit by a jumbo jet and a flock of seagulls. People are now saying that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

what happend to Helen Keller when she fell in a hole She climed out of the hole

Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

Wanna know something funny? Your face

96

What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

The Christian Bible.

whats white and looks like paper paper

What is worse than failing a class? Dress up for grown-ups.

This is an anti joke with a difference. It's funny.

A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

Why did susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms... Why didn't she get up? She didn't have any legs... Why didn't anyone help her? She didn't have any friends. Then she died

A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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