What did Helen Keller say to the leper? Buaaaaguuuhloo

Want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke again? Bubbles was the girl next door, Jonny raped her.

Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A co-pilot

Q. I'm not hot, I'm not cold I'm not young, I'm not old I'm not lame, I'm not cool I'm not smart, and I'm not a fool. What am I? A. Text

Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

A man sat on a chair

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

Q. What's smarter then the smartest woman in the world? A. A retarded seal, or pretty much anything else.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red. OH SHIT THE GARDENS ON FIRE!

roses are red violets are blue just telling you in case you didnt know

What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Personally, I'm a peaceful person. I'd let Hitler figure it out.

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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