Dad, why are we Swedish? Because antilopes and the butterfly effect son.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A chicken walks into a barn.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is the wimpy guy so strong and angry now? Because he took steroids.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What's the difference between a Chicken and a Triceratops? A: One is a Chicken and One is a Triceratops.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

hi michael

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

knock knock who's there doctor doctor who No

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How does shit taste?\ Good.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a bird and a pool table? Both of them fly, except for the pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

weston cage

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

look this kid up on facebook and spam him!! its funny, Josh Noonan, also his cell number is 603 560 3399....

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops