Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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Roses are red, violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't you worry I'll be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.

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What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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what did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? cancer

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Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

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What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

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Why did the Armadyl godsword penetrated full Bandos? Because the AGS went up its tassets

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A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

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What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!!

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

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Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock.. Whose there? Not Sara

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Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

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It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

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What did the man at the haberdashery say? Six and seven-eighths, bub, six and seven-eighths.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I am pregnant And it's your baby

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Two twins are born only a minute apart. There is a mistake at the hospital and they are seperated. Years later they reconnect on Oprah and realize they do not have much in common.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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