How do you know that you tv has been stolen? It's no longer there.

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your mom is so fat, shes not skinny

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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Why are Jewish men curcumsized? Because Jewish women wont put their hands on anything that's not 20% off

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What is worse than finding a worm in ur apple Idk I am asking u

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

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the more I study the more I know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, why study?

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Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

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If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller watch TV? Because at 19 months she contracted what is believed to be scarlet fever which caused an acute congestion of the stomach and brain which caused her to loose sight and hearing.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she's fat.

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What do you call a black airline pilot? Captain, you big racist.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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Why is my room black and white? Because your in a black and white movie.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art.

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What has four wheels, two wings, and flies? A bird...I was kidding about the wheels.

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Antoni Wilkinsin

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Brian finally kissed a girl on the lips... After her daily whore shift of blowjobs -Ap

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Students, please find the surface integral.

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How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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